Steps 2 - 4 re: child abuse "Darkness To Light"

Nov 23, 2013 at 09:27 am by bryan


The Child Advocacy Center is the liason between youth who have been abused and law enforcement as well as the judicial system. Executive Director Sharon De Boer continues her "7 Steps from Darkness to Light".

CLICK HERE for "1st Step"

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Step 2 "Minimize Opportunity"

“Darkness to Light” is a nationwide initiative designed to teach adults how to protect children from child sexual abuse that the Child Advocacy Centers in Rutherford and Cannon Counties began implementing last year.
 
The three-hour training was developed in Charleston, S.C.  “Darkness to Light” Step 2 shows how to limit opportunities for sexual child abuse to occur.
 
Eighty percent or more of child sexual abuse incidents happen in isolated, one-on-one situations, according to the Crimes Against Children Research Center in research conducted by David Finkelhor in 2012.
 
“When we reduce or eliminate isolated one-on-one situations we can lower the risk of child sexual abuse,” stated Ryan Wallace, Child Advocacy Center community education coordinator.
 
“Offenders groom victims,” said Wallace.  “They become friendly with the child and the child’s family and earn their trust by participating in family activities and gaining access to time alone with the child.  Grooming is a process where gradually the offender draws the child into a sexual relationship and tells the child to keep it a secret.”
 
According to the “Darkness to Light” Interactive Workbook used in the trainings, grooming activities include:
·       Special attention, outings, and gifts.
·       Isolating the child from others.
·       Filling the child’s unmet needs.
·       Filling needs and roles within the family.
·       Treating the child as if he or she is older.
·       Gradually crossing physical boundaries, and becoming increasingly intimate and sexual.
·       Using secrecy, blame, and threats to maintain control.
 
The “Darkness to Light” Interactive Workbook states ways to minimize opportunity:
·       Eliminate or reduce isolated, one-on-one situations with children.  Choose group situations and have multiple adults supervise whenever possible.
·       Scan the physical environment for hidden and secluded areas, and correct dangers.
·       Make sure interactions can be observed and interrupted.
·       Anticipate situational risks that occur during youth activities.  A “situational risk” occurs when youth activities create unusual circumstances, decreased structure and supervision, or increased potential for boundary violations.
·       Remember that older youth should not be in isolated, one-on-one situations in youth serving settings.
·       Be creative and think on your feet to find solutions.  Work together.
 
“Children need to be monitored when they are on the Internet,” said Murfreesboro Police Chief Glenn Chrisman.  “The Internet can be an unsafe one-on-one environment where offenders can groom children and lure them into meeting them.  Keep your computer in a public area of your home, like your den or your kitchen, where you can see who your children are talking to on the Internet.  Talk to your children about the safe use of the Internet.”
 
“Minimizing opportunity also means conducting background checks to screen out potential offenders,” Chrisman said.  “Organizations that serve children need to do fingerprint background checks, criminal records check, in-person interviews that ask questions about proper boundaries with children, reference checks with former employers, and after they are hired conducting prevention training, like the ‘Darkness to Light’ training.”
 
According to “Darkness to Light,” a well-trained staff acts as a screen between children and those who may offend.  Conducting the training creates a culture of awareness.  Awareness of sexual abuse is an unfavorable environment for someone who may offend.  A person looking for opportunities to offend may leave the environment or be deterred by the protection efforts of others.
 
“It is also important for organizations to have a code of conduct,” said Wallace.  “A code of conduct describes how staff and volunteers will conduct themselves with children.  A good code of conduct is tailored to the activities and the environment.”
 
For more information on developing a code of conduct for your organization visit the “Darkness to Light” website at www.D2L.org/codeofconduct.  
 
Contact Ryan Wallace at the Child Advocacy Center of Rutherford County (615) 867-9000 or Amanda Pruitt at the Cannon County Child Advocacy Center (615) 563-9915 to schedule the “Darkness to Light” training for your organization and learn more about minimizing opportunities for offenders to have access to your child.

Step 3 "Talk About It"

·       Talk with children when they are young and use the proper names for body parts.
·       Use real-life conversation starters.
·       Tell children what sexual abuse is, and when age-appropriate about sex.
·       Tell children it is your job to protect them from sexual abuse.
·       Tell children what parts of the body others should not touch.  Use examples with situations and people in their lives.  Include that touching boundaries are for everyone-even parents, family members, older youth, cousins, babysitters, and friends.
·       Demonstrate good touching boundaries yourself.
·       Teach children that they have the right to tell anyone “No” to unwanted or uncomfortable touch.  Never force children to give affection.
·       Tell children to trust gut feelings.
·       Explain what kind of touch is okay by an adult who is helping them – like using the restroom, dressing, or when visiting the doctor.
·       Tell children it is not okay for others to use sexual words with them, or to act in a sexual way.
·       Teach children to keep a distance from people that make them feel uncomfortable.
·       Tell children that if they have questions about someone’s behavior, the best thing they can do is ask you about it.
·       Explain that secrets can be harmful.  If someone asks them to keep a secret, they should tell you about it.
·       Teach children not to give out email addresses, home addresses, phone numbers, or other personal information while using the Internet or handheld devices.
·       Ask children about their online experiences and learn about the sites and services they use.
·       Help children determine who their trusted adults are at school and in other settings.
·       Review safety and touching boundaries any time a child is in a new situation.
·       Speak and listen calmly.  It is important that the child feel safe and loved in all of these discussions.
 
From the Darkness to Light Stewards of Children Interactive Workbook: Your Personal Prevention Plan
For more information visit the “Darkness to Light” website at www.D2L.org

Step 4 "Stay Alert, Recognize The Signs"

 “Darkness to Light” is a new initiative designed to teach parents and grandparents how to protect children from child sexual abuse.    
 
Sexually abused children may have physical signs of abuse, such as bleeding, bruising, redness, bumps, or scabs around the mouth, genitals, or anus, Prevent Child Abuse America reported in 2003.  Other potential signs are sexually transmitted diseases, urinary tract infections, and abnormal discharge.   
 
But, physical signs are not common.  Most sexually abused children show no physical signs of abuse.
 
Physical problems such as anxiety, chronic stomach aches or headaches may occur in child sexual abuse victims.  Behavioral and emotional signs are more common.  Some of these include unexplained anger, rebellion, depression, withdrawal, fear, or “too perfect” behavior.  
 
Other signs include, nightmares, bedwetting, falling grades, cruelty to animals, bullying, being bullied, fire setting, running away and self-harm.  Other red flags include sexual behavior and language that is not age appropriate.  Alcohol and drug use at an early age can also be a sign.
 
“Trauma is often at the root of behavior in children that gets labeled at bad, oppositional, or defiant,” said Child Advocacy Center executive director Sharon De Boer.  “Children are angry and act out for a reason.  Many of those angry, rebellious children have been sexually abused.  What happens to children when they act out is that they are labeled, punished, and we try to manage their inappropriate behavior.”
 
“When we see signs of distress in children,” De Boer said.  “We need to reach out to that child and gently begin to ask questions and try to figure out what is going on with them.  Signs of child sexual abuse do not always mean that sexual abuse has happened, but if we don’t ask the right questions we will never know. 
 
“As parents, grandparents, and professionals we have to learn to ask the right questions, ‘What is happening that is making you angry? Is there something you need to talk to me about?  Is someone hurting you?’”
 
To learn more about how to identify signs of sexual abuse in children, you can attend one of the Darkness to Light trainings in Rutherford or Cannon Counties. To find training near you, contact Ryan Wallace at the Child Advocacy Center of Rutherford County (615) 867-9000 or Amanda Pruitt at the Cannon County Child Advocacy Center (615) 563-9915.
 
For more information on "Darkness to Light" visit the website at www.d2l.org.
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