MURFREESBORO, TN — In what can only be described as the most polite felony of the season, Murfreesboro Police are hot on the trail of two considerate criminals who clearly believe that stealing is wrong… unless it’s lawn equipment… and you don’t park in a handicap spot.
This heartwarming tale of theft and etiquette unfolded at the Lowe’s Home Improvement Store on Old Fort Parkway, where nearly $8,000 in outdoor toys—sorry, tools—were swiped in broad, yet somehow stealthy, daylight.
Surveillance video released by MPD shows our dynamic duo rolling up in a silver Dodge Caravan (because nothing says "high-speed getaway" like a family hauler) with a black trailer in tow. The video showed the trailer had one white wheel and one black wheel on the passenger side, giving it that “DIY charm.” Because the driver's side of the trailer is out of view, we cannot confirm or deny whether the other two trailer wheels were also mismatched in color.
With the grace of ballet dancers and the stealth of clumsy raccoons, the suspects exited their minivan and immediately crouched like cartoon burglars who watched too many spy movies. The idea was probably to avoid security cameras, but they must’ve missed the memo that Lowe’s also sells surveillance cameras.
These two criminal masterminds then proceeded to identify their prizes: one shiny Ego brand battery-powered minibike and one Toro zero-turn radius lawn mower — nothing says “fleeing justice” like 360-degree maneuverability.
With bolt cutters in hand and subtlety in short supply, the thieves severed the security cables with all the finesse of someone cutting coupons with garden shears. They quickly loaded the loot onto their trailer, hopped back into their extremely practical minivan, and zoomed off into the sunset. (Well, “zoomed” in the way a Dodge Caravan pulling a full-size trailer can "zoom.")
Police are currently searching for these modern-day Robin Hoods—minus the whole giving-to-the-poor part. Descriptions of the trailer include one white wheel (for flair), one black wheel (for balance), and about 16-17 feet of poor decision-making space.
If you’ve seen two people crouching in public like they're sneaking into a late movie, or you’ve noticed a minivan hauling a trailer that looks like it was built from leftover IKEA parts, you may just have the tip Murfreesboro detectives need.
CAN YOU HELP SOLVE THIS CRIME? Please contact Detective Kyle Ferree at 629-201-5628 if you have any info about the suspects, their minivan, or if you simply want to give them credit for being the most polite criminals in town.
DISCLAIMER: All suspects are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. The arrest records or information about an arrest that are published or reported on NewsRadio WGNS and www.WGNSradio.com are not an indication of guilt or evidence that an actual crime has been committed.
