RUTHERFORD COUNTY, TN - A scammer pretending to be Rutherford County Sheriff’s Sgt. Robert Dowell discovered—rather abruptly—that impersonating law enforcement works great until you accidentally call someone standing next to actual law enforcement. The con artist dialed up a Barfield Elementary School employee and tried the classic “you missed federal court” scare tactic, according to School Resource Officer Rodney Skaggs.

The caller claimed the employee had federal warrants and demanded she report to the sheriff’s office for handwriting samples—because nothing says “federal crime” like a surprise penmanship test. Instead of panicking, the employee calmly walked into the SRO’s office, placed the call on speakerphone, and announced she was standing with a deputy.

That’s when the scammer suddenly remembered he had… anything else in the world to do and immediately hung up. “The guy sure didn’t want to talk to me,” Skaggs said, possibly understating what was Olympic-level backpedaling by the caller.

For the record, the Rutherford County Sheriff’s Office would like everyone to know a few things: deputies do not call people about federal warrants, deputies do not accuse you of missing federal court over the phone, and deputies most certainly do not summon you for handwriting samples like you’re auditioning for CSI: Calligraphy Edition.

If you get a call like this, just hang up. No need to sharpen your pencils.